He couldnt lie to her. He had no idea if he was oging to leave again. His life was such a gamble that even he didnt know how it would turn out now…The fact she was asking something to simple made it so much more harder for him to be able to commit to it…
He squeezed her gently…and pressed her face up a bit despite how she was feeling right now…He couldnt dare to see her so scared she was actually like this…After a moment of letting her rest…he lifted her chin and couldnt help but smile and blush more vividly now to her own rested face.
"…Of course. I will not abandon you Hitomi…I do not hope…I know" …And in a single second he slipped a kiss right onto her own lips this time. Their first official kiss that he actually meant for her to…need and want.
Hitomi was never the romantic type. She tried her hardest to stick to number and graphs. It was a field she understood well. Romance was far from that field. She was capable of explaining her emotions even through levels of neurotransmitters and psychological theories. She could hold the human brain in her hand, point to the plausible cause, and explain it to you. Love was neither explanatory nor tangible for her though. The reason why she found herself crying over losing someone has simple as Komeada didn’t make sense to her at all.
Her eyes looked up at him as his lips touched hers. She could feel her own heart pause for a moment before going back into rhythm. It was like the whole world had lost its sense and stopped, only coming spirally back moments later. All of her relationships so far only felt like scientific exploration, data on a chart. Yet, she could feel the physiological effects of having Komeada here.
It was the first time he had actually kissed her like that and when it stopped, her tears feel even more. Why did he have to do that? The closer she got to him, the harder it was going to be when he left, wasn’t it? Regardless of her desire to draw away in fear, she latched onto him. “Th-thank you,” she muttered into his ear through sobs. “I… I think I love you.”
…His hands softly begun to embrace her as he was slightly leaning against the wall now…holding her there with her just so close made it hard to stand but he did not want to stop her now…Not now or ever
"…I…I should have…seeing you like this…I…Trash like me should not have…caused something so horrendous than…give you a bad day…no less this…"…He shook his head but…he knew he couldnt save a minute of his life to cheering her up…he would have to do it now more than ever. "…"…He even gave her a slight smile as his hand curved below her chin slightly…lifting her gaze to his smiling visage now. "…Comon now Hitomi…The scientist girl I know should be scolding me…"
He could see the tears in her eyes now when she looked up at him. The smile, his heart beat, his warmth. She missed all of it so much. She was shaking bit as she tried to hold back the tears. She quickly wiped the tears that were forming away though.
"I’m glad to see your self-confidence hasn’t changed at all," she said and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. She shook her head slightly. "One man’s trash is another man’s treasure."
She let out another soft sigh and put her head underneath his chin. She wanted to just take in the rest of him that was there. She wanted to hold onto the realness of this scene and make sure that he was there this time. “Please don’t leave me again… Please don’t abandon me… Ok?”
"…Why…W-Why did you start getting depressed Hitomi…"…He had to pause in his thinking and his worry of her for this…He could not possibly fathom why she would actually seriously be affected by his actions…and his appearance or his…of course shoddy impact on her life actually having an ounce of amount of importance on her?
…Then again he couldnt help but pause as she actually rested herslef on his chest…his hand slowly detaching away from hers only to wrap one arm around her softly and slow firmness on her now. He could not mention why he was away…no not yet…It was not time for him. It was her…her safety was his priority now.
Her dependence on him was silly. She smart and talented and strong, yet she became so quickly addicted to his presence that it had wounded her so deeply. It wasn’t just any ordinary person leaving, it was him.
"I’ve told you how few friends I have, correct?" she said into his chest. "I’m not good with variables, Komaeda… Your disappearance was the greatest variable I couldn’t change. I felt abandoned… Heh, and you weren’t even dying like everyone else usually are."
She grabbed onto his shirt, not moving her head from his chest. But she could feel the tears starting to gather in the corners of her eyes. She put up a wall for a reason. She put a wall so she couldn’t get hurt. She detached herself from her parents’, lowering the expectation of warmth and care. She separated herself from personal bonds at work. She refused to accept friendships because she knew eventually she would be left alone. The only constant in her life was work. She trusted that more than anything. She planned to die for it.
"…Thank you Hitomi…" Komaeda paused as Hitomi started to get up…Only for his hand to move to her forearm…and then slowly descended down right to her hand…Touching it lightly as if he actually pressed too much, she would crack…But then in an instinctual push he pulled it tightly and pulled her close…
His voice right above her hair as she was now right in front of his chest…A low and apologetic voice following. “…Hitomi…what has happened since I’ve left…I…You look so tired and neglecting yourself like this…? I…I know I cannot ask for forgiveness after losing your trust twice but…Please tell me how I can help you right now…”
She was caught off guard when he pulled her against him. All the touching and affection almost felt foreign to her. No one really behaved that way to her. It was quite odd. Komaeda had been one of the few people, who from the start, decided to act unprofessional around her. When he left, she missed that about him.
She sighed and leaned her head against his chest. She didn’t speak for a moment, listening to his heart beat instead. After a moment, she did speak up. “It is what it looks like… After you disappeared, I started getting really depressed… I’ve seen studies that said distracting yourself helps with your depression… Well, I just put all my energy possible into my work…”
She didn’t want to mention all the times her co-workers had to wake her up, or take her to the hospital because she couldn’t wake up. She didn’t exactly want to mention either how her appetite decreased drastically to the point where she only ate when she felt pain. Or how she learned to get away with only a couple hours of sleep. Her actions had been screaming suicide but she never could admit that or see it even.
- To seduce your muse
"…Long time no see my dear…"
"Why dont you join me then Hitomi-san? It would…be very nice to catch up with you in the kitchen at least…"…He hesitated slightly as his hands went over to her shoulders…before placing them firmly and looked dwon at her with a little blush himself
"Ah, um, sure! I suppose there’s nothing much for me to do with you invading my house," she said. She let a small laugh escape her lips. She really missed him. It still stung a bit, even if she pretended it didn’t.
- To seduce your muse
"…Long time no see my dear…"
"…" He couldnt help but raise an amused eyebrow at the slight stomach growl…and laugh slightly only to come to her side. "Well…If I made you soemthing to eat…would it become an A+?~"
She blushed at his offer. Honestly, the act of eating was really rare for her now. “Oh… um… Heh, yeah, if you can make something good, I’ll give you an A+ buuut, if it’s horrible, you get an F and have to run out to get something to eat instead.”
Honestly, I should be investigating, but I’m playing a different game right now.
"Specifically, the wound pierced her in her heart, specifically her aorta. The cause of death was cardiac tamponade and the wound is rather deep."
"There’s quite a bit of bruising on the corpse. Looks like they had a pretty nasty struggle against our killer. The bruises are on her arms, chest and legs."